The Cannon Group

So, what do you want to FEEL like in your skin, living your life? And if THAT doesn’t speak to you, what are you ready to eliminate, and let go of completely? Stress, fatigue, politically motivated behavior, cynicism, apathy? And despite what you SAY, do you find that you just keep lining up for more of the same? Crazy hours, believing money really can buy happiness after all, saying yes to everyone, never truly resting or reflecting on the quality of this life you’ve got? What are you relying on to guide you through all this stuff?

Terry had so masterfully walled off his instinct and desires, that he couldn’t access them. He couldn’t trust anyone because he was operating so falsely and obsessively — worried and doubtful and untrusting all the time. And yet, he had such a base of supporters in the organization who just plain liked him. They had watched him tough it out through assorted assignments and they felt he deserved to be at the top — that he’d ‘done the time’. Gradually, though, all that good will and support ebbed away. Terry was absolutely stuck. Paralyzed. Couldn’t locate his values or beliefs or genuine wants for anything.

Finally his board did it — just fired him. Unceremoniously removed him from the job. It almost seemed they could have handled him being committed and wrong. But sterile, paralyzed and cautious? No tolerance. They didn’t even do the politically correct corporate thing and just minimize him. Instead, they publicly dumped him.

This is what happened to Terry. He possessed an anemic distorted version of himself, and he ran with it. Over time his distorted version of himself became his reality. The beliefs and values that came with playing it safe and small took up residence in him — as in move-in-furniture-and-pick-out-wallpaper residence.

Over time, Terry got separated from his true guiding values. And though I’m certain it wasn’t intentional, he began living his life according to a distorted set of values that clamored for attention. He’d operated from safe and small so long, that at some metaphorical tipping point no amount of money (CEO-level coaching fees can share a zip code with an Armani wardrobe); no amount of “evidence” in the form of prescriptive encouragement from supporters: (i.e., “Terry, people need to SEE more of you”; “People are confused and wondering what your priorities are”…) was powerful enough to make Terry stop, reflect, and choose to change.

Lessons abound. Here’s one of my pets: Each decade arrives bearing its unique set of pressing issues; bright shiny time-consuming THINGS (you’re mildewing in your job, you’re raising teens, the marriage you thought was ‘fine’… well… isn’t.) It’s enough to suck all your energy AND distract you from the real business at hand.

And what is that real business? To witness the self (YOU) that’s emerging, AND actively evaluate what YOU believe about her or him. Just what exactly DO you believe? And how are these beliefs showing up in your opinions, choices and activism in your life and on the job? What’s the distance between your core beliefs and the actions you take, don’t take, or merely talk about taking in the world? Finally, is there a relationship between these core beliefs and the space each one inhabits in your daily existence?

Take one minute and make the fastest list you can of the things that bug you — big, small, petty, monumental. In any order — just slam them on the page.

Take a moment or two and observe yourself looking at this list. If you weren’t you, if you were merely WATCHING you and the movie that is in your brain, what would you say this person believes about what s/he can create, influence and improve?

Make some notes and don’t over-think this one.

Which answers surprise you? Do you believe you have the power to change your life? To build a better world? To personally nominate, elect and choose to operate from a new set of values? How do your answers make you feel? Joyful? Nervous? Inspired?